Reflections by Dana

The other day I was looking over our contract for our gym membership because I remembered it was set to expire soon. Sure enough, it was a good thing I did. Our contract states that memberships will automatically renew on a monthly basis unless you send written notice to Unknown Financial Firm in Random Location, USA. Oh, and did I mention that it is the member’s responsibility to follow up with said Unknown Financial Firm to make sure my contract is cancelled as stated in my written notice?


What?!

Now how does that make any sense? Why doesn’t my membership end at the end of the contract? That would make the most logical sense AND it would save everyone a lot of time. I’m not (typically) one to complain, but this really bugs me. Not only is it a total rip off, it means extra hassle on my part. And it makes me really annoyed at my gym, which until now I had an okay opinion of.

This got me thinking. If the gym can do it, why can’t I?

So from now on, I’m invoking new contractual life obligations. Ahem.

1. My salary shall automatically renew every year with a minimum 8% increase.
2. If I’m having a bad day, I have the right to stop what I’m doing, go home, and snuggle with my dog and watch movies until I feel better.
3. The clothes in my closet shall automatically update to the latest trends and fashions each season at no cost to me.
4. My hair will do what I tell it to at all times.
5. Someone will clean my house every week, preferably using magic so it gets done instantly and without disturbance to my plans for the day.
6. I get to purchase gas at a fixed low price.
7. All my wishes will come true within six months of first proclaiming said wish.
8. Any person or persons who has a problem with the contractual obligations written here may voice their concerns by sending a written notice to I Could Care Less Financial Firm in Deal With It, USA.

I’m inciting change here, people, that’s going to change the world! Who’s with me? Raise your hand and sign on the dotted line!

On second thought, maybe read the terms of agreement first. :)

Categories: matters of the mind