How Life Is Like a Soap Opera

Disclaimer: The following blog post is one of my rare, serious musings. If you're looking for cute videos of toddlers and dogs, click along to previous posts.

Today I read a quote by Stephen King in his novel Duma Key that stopped me in my tracks. Made me go back and read it again. Ponder it. Then read it one more time. At first I liked it for its humor. Then I loved it for its unabashed truth. He says,

"Life is like a Friday on a soap opera. It gives you the illusion that everything is going to wrap up, and then the same old sh*t starts up on Monday."

When I came home and read this quote to David, he wasn't amused. I thought he would appreciate the humor of it because he always made fun of me for watching Days of Our Lives back in the day [I have since abstained from soap operas but, admittedly, have shifted my addiction to reality TV shows]. Anyway, he often commented a person could watch one episode a week and not miss a beat. Or turn it on again after a month and still know exactly what was going on. He's right, of course; soap operas aren't known for their fast-paced storytelling. And that's why I thought he would at least smirk at King's voice of comedic truth.

Instead, his reaction was, "Wow, Dana, that's a really pessimistic view of seeing the world." And he looked at me with disappointment.

Huh. I hadn't even thought of it that way.

That quote stayed with me the rest of the day, and it certainly had the opposite affect on me as it did on David. Granted, I do tend to view things more negatively than he does [Thanks Grandma; pretty sure I get that from you]. I call it being a realist; he calls it being a pessimist. But it got me thinking: why was I so taken with that quote if it was, in fact, so pessimistic?

And it came to me, easily. I didn't think of it in a negative way; I thought of it as a hard truth; a scary truth; the kind of truth you accept or reject right out. Not everything in life is rainbows and roses. You might get rainbows and roses on Friday, and by Monday you could just as easily have thunderstorms and sticker bushes. It's the ups and downs, the ebbs and flows, that keep us going. And if you believe, as I do, that we're here for a purpose and He watches over us, well, those thunderstorms and sticker bushes start to lose a lot of their ugliness.

Without the ugly things in life, the beautiful things lose their greatness.

If it wasn't for the same sh*t on Monday, Friday would be nothing to get that excited about.

And if we lived our lives at the top of the peaks, and never saw or felt or experienced those valleys, then we'd truly be missing out on the blessings — big and small — that reveal themselves to us every day. If I didn't cry, laughter wouldn't feel so good. If I didn't get wet on rainy days, I wouldn't appreciate the warmth on my skin on sunny days. If I didn't have bad days at work, I wouldn't appreciate the hugs and kisses that give me relief when I get home.

Living with the illusion that there is a finality to things, that our pains and sorrows will one day wrap up to be passed over and forgotten for something better — or at least newer — is sadder to me than seeing the glass half empty. I know, on Friday, that Monday is right around the corner. It's in the front of my mind and I don't even try to pretend it won't come. That sounds like a real Debbie Downer way of thinking, I know. To me, though, it's an opportunity to relish in the good that Friday brings because that's where I feel His presence. It's my faith that He is there to get me through those Mondays — no matter what they bring or how long they last — that make me unafraid to face them head on. I don't have a problem facing the sh*t on Monday because He will see me through 'til Friday, and that's when I get to be re-energized by His love and the blessings He has laid before me.

I appreciate the ugly just as much as the beautiful. Without one, the other loses all meaning and purpose. And, in my opinion, the purpose of it all — the joy, the sorrow, the thrill, the pain, the love, the heartache — is to feel Him working in us and through us and around us and for us. That's the kind of faith I carry with me. And it's what keeps me going....at least until Saturday.

A Humble Thank You

Preface
I'm not what you would call an overtly religious person, if there is such a thing. I have strong beliefs. I was raised in a Christian home. But I don't go to church every week like I did growing up. My Bible has been collecting dust on my bookshelf for years. And all my prayers are said in private, and I keep them to myself. Does that make my relationship with God any less than if I did all those things? I don't think so (but that's a whole theological/philosophical discussion that is way bigger than what I want to say here). What I'm trying to get at is, what I'm about to say may surprise some of you because this message is coming from a deep place that I don't expose to many people. I'm also a private person, and writing this blog post isn't "normal" behavior for me. But I feel compelled to share this. So here it goes....

My Thank You
Today I feel incredibly, overwhelmingly humbled by the grace of God. Almost epiphany-like. I thank God nearly every day for all the good things in my life. I know I am lucky and incredibly blessed to have this life and be surrounded by so many wonderful people. I try never to forget where all these good things come from. That said, today I feel......small. The awesomeness of His power has just completely stunned me in the last week or so. I'm speechless and so very humbled by the things He's doing in my life.

Let me back up for a sec.

Compared to a lot of people, I've had a fairly easy life. I'm not ignorant to that. But that's not to say it has been or is always "easy." Nothing in life is ever easy. It's one of our earliest life lessons -- everything in life has a price, it has a consequence, and nothing is handed to us on a silver platter. And one of the hardest life lessons for me has been this: even when you try your hardest and do your best, it still may not be enough.

That, my friends, is a tough pill to swallow. Especially for someone like me who believes you should get what you deserve. That is, if you work hard enough, you should get what you want or what you set out to achieve. If I do everything I'm supposed to, I should get favorable results. Sadly, it just doesn't work that way. And I don't think I fully understood that until well into my 20s. Maybe even mid 20s. Ah, who am I kidding. I didn't fully understand that until maybe a year or so ago.

Life. Isn't. Fair.

It's a message we hear from a very young age, starting with mom and dad when we don't get what we want. And it's a message that rings true for the rest of our lives. Nothing in life is fair. And sometimes, let's be honest, it just plain sucks. I've learned to take the good with the bad. To stay positive. To look on the bright side. To take every bad experience and find a lesson to be learned or an opportunity to better myself. But even in doing these things, I get angry. I get sad. I get frustrated when things don't go my way; when the plans I've laid out for myself don't come to fruition. I'm not proud to admit that I've had many "why me?" moments with God. I've never blamed Him, but I have questioned Him. Many times. And today I feel completely embarrassed by ever having done that. Because today I realized (not for the first time, mind you, but in a "how many times do I have to hit you over the head" kind of way) that He was always listening. And He was answering my prayers, it just wasn't in an obvious "here it is on a silver platter" kind of way. I should have known better.

Now, back to the present.

The last week or so has been absolutely amazing.

1) We find out we're having a boy and, so far, he's healthy and doing great.

2) After a year on the market, we get two offers (two!) in a 24-hour period. One pans out better than we expected and we sell our house! YAY!

3)  David finds out he passed his third and final CFA exam!! He's worked so incredibly hard for 4.5 years to earn his CFA designation. Finally....FINALLY....he's done for good. I know he stuck with it for so long because he wants to do great things in his career. He's always been very motivated and goal-driven. But I think he also did it for the betterment of our family. And I am so so SO proud of him.

On top of these really big things, this week we finished our baby registries (which, I'm sorry, is just not fun. I found it stressful and overwhelming and I did not enjoy it. But we got it ALL done in two days, and I'm SUPER relieved). We also found a daycare that we LOVE. After looking at two that were just so-so, I was getting to be discouraged about returning to work and leaving our son in daycare five days a week. But today we found THE perfect daycare for him (and us!). And, lucky us, they have two (only two!) spots available for the end of March. Thank goodness I'm a planner because had we waited any longer (heck, I'm only 4.5 months!) we would've been out of luck.

Everything is just falling into place. Or should I say, I finally see how His plan is falling into place. Anyway, I just can't believe all the good things that have come our way recently -- not just daycare, and registries, and passing tests (that would be silly!). But all the experiences (more than I'd care to share here) over the last weeks, months, and years combined....all of them, good and bad, I owe 100% to the Big Guy. And I know this streak of ours won't last, but we sure are enjoying it while we can. If anything, it has definitely set off a light bulb in my head:

"Aha, He hasn't failed me. He hasn't ignored my prayers. He has always been looking out for me. And I never should have doubted that."

I'll consider it another lesson learned.

Facelift

I love making changes. Not frequently, mind you, but every now and then I do enjoy big changes. For instance, chopping off my hair. Or getting a dog. Or redecorating. Or starting new jobs. Or starting a book club. Or building a house!

As I was getting my hair cut the other day, I was thinking, "Gosh, I need a new project." Sooo....

Voila — I gave our blog a facelift! :)

You'll also see a new feature to the left. You can now receive an e-mail when we update the blog! I know it can get irritating to check it every day or week to see if we've posted anything new. And what if I get on a writing spree and you miss something (Heaven forbid!)? Just enter your e-mail address in the box to the left where it says "Follow by Email" and each new post will come directly to your inbox! I'm hoping this will make blogging more user friendly. You can always click on the blog post title in the e-mail to be directed back to our blog so you can leave comments and see the other stuff on our page. And you can unsubscribe from this feature at any time by clicking on the Unsubscribe Now link at the bottom of the e-mail.

Thanks for keeping up with us as we keep you posted on what we're up to. We love all the comments!! Keep 'em coming. :)

Bulldogs for Life

The moment I stepped on Butler's campus in the fall of 1999, I knew it was where I belonged. There's a special feeling you get on Butler's campus. A feeling of community, friendship, tradition. A feeling of family.

I've always been so proud to be a Butler Bulldog for so many reasons. In addition to the outstanding education and amazing teachers that made my academic experience so fulfilling, Butler offers a little extra something that keeps us alumni coming back for more -- a place to call home.

Butler was my real home for four years. It's where I grew up, essentially, into the woman I am. It's where I made the most amazing, life-long friends. It's where I fell in love. It's where I learned some early life lessons. It's where my life changed forever. Butler was more than where I went to college. It was, and is, a lifestyle. One of character, integrity, intellect, class, and tradition.

As the Bulldogs progress to the Elite Eight in this year's NCAA tournament, I've never been more proud to be a Butler alumna. And it's not because our boys are playing so well on the court. It's because they are exemplifying to the nation what Butler's all about.

No doubt you've heard the term "the Butler Way" after last year's run to the championship game. It sounds like a marketing ploy, but I assure you it's real. The Butler Way is bigger than our basketball team and has been around longer than Matt Howard's stretched out socks. The Butler Way is about the team, about supporting each other, about working together. It's also about character, integrity, and class.

Did you know Butler's team has the best academics in the whole tournament? Check out Inside Higher Ed's take on what the NCAA tournament would look like if teams advanced based on their outcomes in the classroom.

Did you know Butler's star senior Matt Howard is frugal, shy, and has an odd sense of humor? Check out the Washington Post's post-ODU interview.

It's these kinds of stories that make me so proud. Our boys may not win another game in the tournament. They may not even make it to the tournament in the next 10 years. But it doesn't matter to us, and it certainly doesn't make us any less proud. It's not about winning, it's about playing the game. And at Butler, we're all about playing every game, on the court and in life, with dignity and class.

Am I Bulldog? Hell yeah.

Reflections by Dana

The other day I was looking over our contract for our gym membership because I remembered it was set to expire soon. Sure enough, it was a good thing I did. Our contract states that memberships will automatically renew on a monthly basis unless you send written notice to Unknown Financial Firm in Random Location, USA. Oh, and did I mention that it is the member’s responsibility to follow up with said Unknown Financial Firm to make sure my contract is cancelled as stated in my written notice?


What?!

Now how does that make any sense? Why doesn’t my membership end at the end of the contract? That would make the most logical sense AND it would save everyone a lot of time. I’m not (typically) one to complain, but this really bugs me. Not only is it a total rip off, it means extra hassle on my part. And it makes me really annoyed at my gym, which until now I had an okay opinion of.

This got me thinking. If the gym can do it, why can’t I?

So from now on, I’m invoking new contractual life obligations. Ahem.

1. My salary shall automatically renew every year with a minimum 8% increase.
2. If I’m having a bad day, I have the right to stop what I’m doing, go home, and snuggle with my dog and watch movies until I feel better.
3. The clothes in my closet shall automatically update to the latest trends and fashions each season at no cost to me.
4. My hair will do what I tell it to at all times.
5. Someone will clean my house every week, preferably using magic so it gets done instantly and without disturbance to my plans for the day.
6. I get to purchase gas at a fixed low price.
7. All my wishes will come true within six months of first proclaiming said wish.
8. Any person or persons who has a problem with the contractual obligations written here may voice their concerns by sending a written notice to I Could Care Less Financial Firm in Deal With It, USA.

I’m inciting change here, people, that’s going to change the world! Who’s with me? Raise your hand and sign on the dotted line!

On second thought, maybe read the terms of agreement first. :)

Addictions

Hi, my name is Dana, and I’m an addict. I seem to have this crazy addiction to (*gasp*) books! Fortunately, I’m not alone in my suffering. David shares the same addiction, which qualifies both of us as enablers. As a result, our house is quickly turning into the Stelsel Library. We even have our own electronic card catalog; ridiculous, I know, but increasingly necessary. I think we’ve logged more than 400 books housed in our bookcase right now, with more to come!

I know we’re not alone in our passion for reading, so I want to highlight some of our favorites. Now, keep in mind that I only read fiction (with the exception of the rare celebrity’s autobiography) AND I have strange taste in books that runs the gamut of genres. So consider yourself warned.

If you’re interested in history, sociology/culture, or business, you’ll need to talk to David. He has quite the collection of bestsellers in these areas. Scroll down to see David’s picks.

Dana’s Picks
King of Horror. If you know me at all, you know I have a wicked fascination with Stephen King. I love (almost) everything he writes. My absolute favorite is The Shining, but It, Pet Sematary, and the 7-book Dark Tower series are top picks as well. He’s not gruesome, but he is disturbing in a psychological “oh-my-gosh-where-does-he-come-up-with-this” kind of way.

Heartfelt Stories. Jodi Picoult is another all-time favorite. She writes uncomfortable character dilemmas with a personal touch. When you read a Jodi book, you walk in her characters’ shoes, and that’s an amazing feat for an author. She makes you think, “What would I do in this situation?” My favorites are My Sister’s Keeper, The Pact, and Perfect Match, although I like them all.

For the Funny Bone. If you’ve never laughed out loud while reading a book, you've never met Stephanie Plum. Janet Evanovich writes the Stephanie Plum series, which follows the life of a New Jersey twentysomething who takes up bounty hunting as a career. Her family (including gun-toting grandma), friends (including a ghetto fabulous ex-prostitute), and her AARP card-carrying neighbors get involved as Stephanie tries to solve local mysteries, and hilarity ensues. I laugh out loud at every book, sometimes to the point of snorts, tears, and aches in my side. You don’t want to miss these!

Chick Lit. I don’t read a lot of chick lit (i.e., books that cater to the female variety, like the literature version of chick flicks), but there are a few series that I really enjoy. Emily Giffin is particularly good at telling stories of love, heartache, and everything in between. Her stories have a natural flow with characters that are relatable. Check out Something Borrowed, Something Blue, Baby Proof, and Love the One You’re With. Another favorite is Sophie Kinsella’s Shopaholic series. Kinsella follows the oftentimes disastrous foibles of a young Brit with an addiction to shopping. These are fast, lighthearted reads. My mom hates them, but I think they’re good for a laugh or two, if you don’t mind the superficial and ditzy nature of the main character. Kinsella’s Undomestic Goddess is worth reading as well; probably better than her Shopaholic books.

Bloodsucker Tales. I have a new interest in vampire novels. Not sure where it comes from, but I can’t stop. My favorite series: Laurel K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake series and Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse series. Both are intriguing, sexy tales of heroines living in a world where supernatural beings live alongside humans. These are not your Twilight-saga variety; not suitable for younguns.

Hi, my name is David and I have a problem. Not only am I addicted to reading, I also like to buy books that I will read at some undetermined point in the future. I know, I know not that big of an issue. That is unless you buy books faster than you can read them. In a typical year I tend to read around 20 books, but buy/receive close to 50. My collection consists mostly of non-fiction. In the end my portion of the bookcase has over 300 books in all but only half have been processed by my mind. But enough about what I have not read; let me introduce you to some of the best that I have read.

David’s Picks
Shortish Classics. While I did my share of “classics” reading in school I have found that the majority of my favorite “classics” come from the 20th century and tend to be on the shorter side. They also tend to make a statement about the plight of the individual. My favorite book of all time is Catcher in the Rye, about an individual trying to find his place in a world he has distaste for. Others that I thoroughly enjoyed include A Clockwork Orange (the individual’s place in the social order), Animal Farm (individuals and power), 1984 (the loss of identity), and The Scarlet Letter (the human condition).

Pop-Anthropology and Pop-Sociology. I like to explore why we are the way we are as humans. I have found two methods of tackling this: reading popular anthropology and sociology works. This has included books by anthropologist Jared Diamond (Guns, Germs and Steel, The Third Chimpanzee, and Collapse) as well as diatribes on modern pop culture from Chuck Klosterman (Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs), Morgan Spurlock (Don’t Eat This Book), and Bret Ellis (American Psycho).

Oddball Fiction. I tend to like the absurd and modern fiction that is at once both funny and tragic. This has led me to read and now recommend books by Chuck Palahniuk (Choke), Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series), Joseph Heller (Catch 22), and Kurt Vonnegut (Slaughterhouse Five and Breakfast of Champions).

Thinking Man’s Fiction. This is a relatively new fascination of mine. While I was thoroughly entertained reading Dan Brown’s popular novels I have found even greater enjoyment from reading books from Umberto Eco (Foucault’s Pendulum) and Ayn Rand (Atlas Shrugged). The former is a historical adventure somewhat like that which takes place in the Da Vinci Code, but Eco forces the reader to use the old noodle a bit more. The latter is role of the individual in society.

Trials and Tribulation of Capitalism. It is no secret that I like both history and business. Combining the two passions has led me to discover great works recounting the roller coaster that is modern capitalism. Whether it is the rise and fall of a company written by Roger Lowenstein (When Genius Failed) or the near collapse of the financial system in 2008 recounted by Andrew Ross Sorkin (Too Big to Fail) I enjoy reading the particulars about the gears behind the machine. A few other recommendations include Kenneth Rogoff (This Time is Different), Michael Lewis (Liar’s Poker), and Mohamed El-Erian (When Markets Collide).

If you’re still reading this, well, we thank you for your commitment to our ramblings. Happy reading! :)

Power of Positive Thinking

Today someone decided it was time for a big change in my life. I blame my new VP at IFSA (who I despise to begin with). But I’d like to think it’s the Big Guy upstairs giving me a shove in the right direction. I lost my job this afternoon. And although I’d like to blame a lot of people (okay, just one person really), I’m trying to think positive. I keep telling myself that this happened for a reason and that something really great will come from this. I tell myself that maybe this was the push I needed to try something new, like freelance writing, which I’ve just very recently tried to break into. Hmm… now that I think about it, maybe deep down I knew (or Big Guy knew) that this was going to happen and that’s why I’ve already started preparing for this freelance thing. Strange how things work like that.

I digress. I’ll be honest, I’m scared. I’m worried sick. I have an off-the-richter-scale headache that I don’t foresee going away anytime soon. I’m stressed. I’m angry. I’m upset. I feel…….lost. The good thing is I have these guys to get me through.


And I’m lucky to have such supportive friends and family to help me. So, yeah, I’m feeling really shitty (pardon my French, Gigi) about all this. But all in all, I’m a lucky girl in so many ways. And I know that that will give me the strength I need to pull through this and turn it into a very positive change in my life.

Must-See TV

David and I have started watching a new show on Showtime called United States of Tara. We hadn't even heard of it until after it premiered. When we saw the commercial for it, we immediately programmed it into our DVR so we could check it out. We watched the pilot episode last night: hilarious!! The show follows a wife and mother of two, Tara (played by Toni Collete from the movie Little Miss Sunshine), who has multiple personalities. Throughout the show her personalities appear and wreak havoc on her otherwise normal (well, maybe a bit dysfunctional) life. You see how her husband (Aiden from Sex and the City) and teenage kids deal with the chaos. I highly recommend you check it out. Click on the link above for more information about the show.

Music Review

There has been a lot of new music released lately, and as a music lover of almost all genres, I'm always interested to hear new tunes. Here's my two cents on some new albums that have hit the charts:

Britney Spears: Circus
Love her or hate her, the girl knows how to make your hips move. I listened to her new album, and it's good! I would recommend it for anyone who likes a good dance beat. Much better than her previous album in my opinion. Don't judge the album based on her first single, "Womanizer." This may be one of the least impressive songs on the album. If you like the title track "Circus," you'll want to hear more. I'll definitely be adding this album to my work-out mix.

David Cook: David Cook
Who could forget David Cook's riveting performance of the remake of Michael Jackson's "Billy Jean." It was quite possibly my favorite AI performance of all time. Well, he doesn't disappoint on his new self-titled album. It is very Daughtry-esqe but with softer tones. I highly recommend this album for any classic rock n' roll lovers. Listen to his first single, "Light On."

Guns N' Roses: Chinese Democracy
After 15 years of no new music from Axl and company, I was super excited to hear their new album......much to my disappointment. I'll be honest, I'm not a die-hard fan of GNR. I love their old hits, such as "November Rain," "Sweet Child 'O Mine," and "Live and Let Die," so I'm probably not the best person to critique this album. There was at least one song that I really liked, and some others that were okay. True GNR fans or hard rock fans may have more appreciation for this album, but it wasn't my cup of tea. Listen to "This I Love," the song most like GNR's old-school ballads.

New Kids On The Block: The Block
Okay, so the NKOTB comeback happened a few months ago, but I thought it was worth mentioning. Joey, Jordan, Donnie, Danny, and Jonathan hooked up with some pretty cool hip-hop and pop producers to turn out an album with a vibe much younger than the guys themselves. There are a few songs on the album that make me groove, but for the most part I think it tries too hard to be fresh and cool. The songs are over produced and the lyrics are your basic "baby baby" this and "baby baby" that. And let's face it: it's just a little weird to watch these 40-somethings try to relive their glory days. It works for Madonna, but not for NKOTB. Watch their video for their second single, "Single."

Beyonce: I Am...Sasha Fierce
She sings, she dances, she acts, she desgins clothes. What doesn't Beyonce do these days? Well, she doesn't write good songs, that I know for sure. She has an amazing voice; that I can't deny. But this album just doesn't do it for me. Sorry Beyonce (or is it Sasha Fierce these days?), but it's just not working for me. Listen to her first single, "If I Were A Boy."

Now, if you're interested in hearing some music you've probably never heard, you should check out David's music blog (yes, he has his own secret blog). David has quite a unique music perspective.

I think you can listen to 30-second samples of all albums on Amazon.com. However, I recommend listening to full-length versions of songs on YouTube for a better feel for the songs.

Has anyone else heard any new music lately that you really liked?

Night at the Movies

Last night David and I saw the new movie Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. We hardly ever see a movie in the theater. Prices ridiculously higher than the $3.50 I remember from my childhood, annoying kids with no manners who should be accompanied by adults but aren't, and the miraculous invention of DVR and Video On Demand have made the movie theater experience, at least in our book, extremely underwhelming. However, in rare instances when we a) see a really great movie previewed that we just HAVE to see on the big screen (a la Dark Knight) or b) really need to get out and do something we don't do very often, it almost always comes down to a night at the movies. I think it's the nostalgia of the movies that I like so much. These days going to the movie theater isn't that spectacular (unless you go to a brand new theater with superb surround sound, the most comfortable stadium seating you've ever sat in, and butter pumps so you can customize your popcorn according to your tastes). And last night was no different; the theater was practically empty, we didn't get popcorn, and the seats were the old kind where you have to strategically place yourself a few rows behind people either to the left or right so as not to have the screen blocked by someone's big head, then slump down in your seat so you can sit still for an hour and a half without getting a cramp in your neck. So no, it wasn't the spectacular movie experience I remembered from the '90s, but I was happy all the same.

There's something about sitting in a dark, quiet theater, sharing an armrest with the boy you like, and laughing out loud when you turn to each other at the same moment because something the characters just did on screen reminds you of a moment way back when, that just feels......good. Maybe it's those millisecond moments when you can relate to the characters in the movie. Last night it was when Nick and Norah (two young singles who share a love for music and a quest to find out where their favorite band is scheduled to play in the city) start making up dances in the middle of a club. To any of the other viewers last night, it was probably just a funny scene in the movie. To me, it was an "awww" moment when David and I glanced at each other and just started laughing because we were both thinking the same thing: "we do that too!"

The movie was just okay in my opinion. Good music and some funny parts here and there. I wouldn't recommend it for anyone over 30; it speaks more to the teenage and college crowd than the twenty-somethings. But what I really enjoyed, despite the lack of popcorn and the uncomfortable seats, was that one-of-a-kind experience that only happens at the movies: when you can sit in a dark public place surrounded by strangers and still feel like you're in your own little world. When it's just you and the person you're with, laughing together in secret at what would appear to be nothing at all.

A Wife's Point of View

My husband is a hostage
of the CFA.
Tortured nearly daily,
cramming knowledge into his brain.

He comes home from work
and goes straight to studying at the table,
while I mope around the house
‘cause I can’t watch cable.

And then it’s off to bed we go,
but wait, he’s still not done.
That big pile of notecards
have to be reviewed until there’s none.

Sometimes I get lonely
because I feel like I never see him.
A dinner here, thirty minutes there,
and if I’m lucky a trip to the gym.

But when I get upset
and wish he’d just be done already,
I step back and remind myself,
he’s doing this for me.

I certainly have no right to complain;
he’s sacrificing more than me
by giving up all his free time
to build a bright future for our family.

I don’t like the long study hours
and I miss the time we had before.
But in the end it will all be worth it,
and that makes me love him even more.

Making a Change

In my relatively short 26.75 years in this world, I’ve made an astounding observation: Life is nothing but a waiting game. Waiting for the weekend. Waiting for a job offer. Waiting for water to boil. Waiting to get married. Waiting to have kids. Waiting for class to be over.

Waiting for something new. Waiting for something more.

And it was after I realized I was just another player in the waiting game that I asked myself not what I’m waiting for but why. I can’t help but wonder if I’m missing out on living my life by waiting around for something else. Why am I passing the days, weeks, months, years only waiting for a future that may or may not work out as I plan/expect/want? I think I may be coasting through the everyday stuff just waiting for the future and forgetting to stop and smell the roses. Now, that’s not to say that I don’t enjoy my life; I definitely do! I have a beautiful family, fabulous friends, and the kind of life a lot of people don’t have. I’m happy and healthy and I am surrounded by people who love me. My point is: at some point I gave up really living my life in place of waiting to see what will happen.

So today I make a pledge: less waiting and more living. No more waiting around for next week, next month, next year; more enjoying the moments in my day that make me happy. No more waiting for a bigger and better job; more working toward being the best at the job I have. No more waiting to graduate; more enjoying learning new things and meeting challenges head on. Game over.

(Ahhh. I feel better already.)

Movie Review

Recent movies viewed.

Reign Over Me -

• A dark, affecting tale of friendship and loss, with solid performances from top to bottom starring, Don Cheadle, Adam Sandlar, Jada Pinkett Smith, Liv Tyler.
• 7.0/10

Breach-

• Breach is a tense and engaging portrayal of the FBI's infamous turncoat. Starring Chris Cooper, Ryan Phillippe, Laura Linney
• 8.0/10

The Dark Knight-

• Dark, complex and unforgettable, The Dark Knight succeeds not just as an entertaining comic book film, but as a richly thrilling crime saga. Starring Christian Bale, Health Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal
• 9.5/10