Saying Our Goodbyes

This weekend we drove to Wisconsin to pay our respects to Boppa (Sr.), who we lost rather unexpectedly on April 24. Although it was a solemn occasion, it was a beautiful day to celebrate Boppa's long and prosperous life with family and friends. As the patriarch of the Stelsel family, he will be sorely missed, but his legacy lives on his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Boppa was one of the finest, most honorable men I've ever known, and I'm grateful to have called him family. I see so much of him in Dave, David, and Kirk, and it warms my heart to know Ford (and baby 2) will get to experience the best of Boppa Sr. in their Boppa, Daddy, and Uncle KK. 

Dave with his childhood friends

Sliding with Uncle KK

Ford sure loves his Boppa

'Tis (Almost) the Season

We haven't even made it to Halloween and I'm already preparing for Christmas. Oh my....

I don't know what has gotten into me this year! It was only a few years ago that I bah-humbugged my way through the holidays altogether and stopped decorating for Christmas, or any other holiday for that matter. Now here I am all excited for the holidays like a giddy school girl on her way to Disney World.

Last week I went to Walmart to pick up a pumpkin bucket for Ford's first trick-or-treating. I came home with a trunk full of outdoor Christmas decorations (and the pumpkin).

Two days ago I created and ordered our Christmas cards......and holiday stamps.....and holiday address labels.

I also decorated the house for fall for the first time EVER: 3 pumpkins on the stoop, do-it-yourself wreath on the door, dining table decked out with fall decor (although I have my mom to thank for that one).

It almost feels like nesting — you know, when a pregnant lady goes into Super Mommy mode to prepare for the baby — except it's with my home. My home is my new baby? Something to dress up in new outfits and ooh and ahh over? Ummmm.....

What's the deal here? Well, it could be the sudden cold weather we've been having. The winter coats are out and the sweater boxes are off the shelf. To me, that's a sign that it's officially winter. And Ford is completely on board with this; he wants to wear his new winter gear all the time....even around the house (although it is quite chilly in our home).

Where'd my hands go?!

Mittens are FUUUUN!

And the only good thing about winter is the holiday season! I can do without the snow and freezing temperatures. But the holidays bring good cheer and lots of family time. There's no better time of year.

So I can't explain the rash of odd behavior, but I think it's related to my exuberance about the approaching holidays and all the good things they bring.

That, or Martha Stewart's spirit has taken over my body. And that would NOT be "a good thing."

Oh My Wordy, Look Who's 30!

Best. Birthday. Ever.

Turning 30 wasn't a big deal to me like it can be for some women. I have my health. I have my family and friends. I have an amazing husband and our baby due any day. And I still look like I'm in my 20s (ha). Life is good.

Every birthday since 21 hasn't been a big deal. The older I get, the more boring and ho-hum birthdays become to me. This year, however, was an exception. It started out as just another day, but it sure didn't end that way. I got up. Went to work. Ate too much during the work day (between the carrot cake a coworker made for my birthday and a birthday lunch compliments of my boss). Struggled to stay awake in the afternoon as the inevitable food coma hit me. Enjoyed all the birthday phone calls, emails, text messages, and Facebook messages. Then headed home at 5:00, excited to see my happy dog, check the mail for birthday cards and packages, and go out for a nice birthday dinner with David.

This is when my 30th birthday took a surprise turn. As I rounded the corner of my street, I saw, to my utter surprise, what looked like my Dad's truck parked in front of my house.

"No, it couldn't be...." I thought.

"Wait, yeah, I think that's his license plate."

Sure enough, as I pull into the driveway, up pops the garage and my Mom is standing there. "SURPRISE!!!" she yells with the biggest grin on her face.

And I just started crying.

I think I was in shock for a good hour (at least). I kept saying, "You're crazy!" and "I can't believe you're here!" And, of course, David had been in on it the whole time (since Thanksgiving!), which made it that more special to me.

As if their visit alone wasn't awesome enough, they came bearing gifts. Lots and lots of gifts. The first thing I saw when I walked in the house was a gift for Bubba from my sister Jennifer, which was SO sweet because she had already done so much for me and Bubba already. Next to the baby gift was this huge three-layer cake my Mom made. [Becky and Jeff, you'll love this: it was FUNFETTI!!! My favorite when I was little, and still love to this day because it reminds me of childhood.]

One of my first questions to my Mom, "So are we still going out for dinner?" Because at this point I didn't know David had been in on this and I still thought we had dinner reservations. Wrong. She pointed to the oven, and I peek in and notice a heaping pan of lasagna starting to bubble. My favorite!! Not only is lasagna always my birthday dinner of choice, this one was extra special because it was Jennifer's famous 8 lb. lasagna. Nothing beats it. And last night it was extraordinary as always.

THEN Kirk stops by to drop off a birthday card (that he's been meaning to give me for three years, which is hilarious) and a scrumptious chocolate cupcake from this fantastic cupcake bakery in town. It was so sweet of him to stop by, and the three-year-old card made me laugh. I'm saving the cupcake for another day, though, because I have an entire funfetti cake to eat!

My serving of cake had toothpicks in it. I thought that meant I won a prize, but all it got me was excused from washing dishes. ha! I'll take it! :)

After dinner, we moved into the living room where this was waiting for me:

Let me explain. Many, many moons ago, when Jennifer turned 30, Mom had a fun idea of getting her 30 gifts. Well, what you do for one you have to do for all. Sure enough, Jamie got 30 gifts on her 30th, and now it was my turn. I, of course, had not remembered this tradition at all, so I would've been none the wiser had I only received one birthday gift (until Jamie called and asked how I liked my 30 gifts; I could see that happening. ha). And so I spent the next 60 minutes tearing through presents (with some assistance from Chase The Opener, David The Box Keeper, Mom The Trash Collector, and Dad The Photographer).

I was not amused by this gift: "Olivia Newton John's Greatest Hits Vol. 2." What the heck?! Well, turns out this is part of the tradition. Mom always got the #1 song, book, and movie from the year we were all born. Ummmm.....thanks? hahahhaha 

Won't be drinking this for a while, but never hurts to start filling up my wine rack now. Best to be prepared. :)

Love this! A bath caddy to hold my glass of wine, a candle, and prop up a book while I soak in the tub. *sigh* Makes my muscles relax just thinking about it.

Little helper. Look at him go!

After we opened presents, we stayed up too late talking and laughing and telling stories and laughing and looking at baby pictures and laughing and talking about Bubba and laughing. It was a perfect night. I didn't want to end it by going to bed, but alas, I had to cut it short because I knew I had to get up early for work.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mom, Dad, and David, for making my 30th SO special. I'll remember it always.

Two other random highlights from the day:

1)  I turned 37 weeks pregnant on my birthday, which means Bubba is officially full term! We made it! Now we're just waiting for him to decide to enter the outside world. :)

2)  I won Final Jeopardy for the first time ever. Let me explain. The Stelsels and the Parkers love Jeopardy. David has this fun (?) habit of guessing an answer between seeing the Final Jeopardy topic and seeing the question. Well it's caught on, and now we all do it to test our psychic/genius powers. So as we're in the middle of opening presents last night, Kirk calls. It's Final Jeopardy time. He tells us what the topic is -- Popular Baby Names -- and we all make a guess. Lo and behold, I got it right!! How appropriate considering my condition. ha. The answer, by the way, was Jacob. ;)

A Helping Hand

This may be my first entry, but it is an important one.

On Monday night my front headlight burned out. I went to the auto parts store, purchased a new light and went back to my apartment. My attempt to install it was unsuccessful. I needed an extension to my ratchet, something I was without. After trying for 45 minutes to get the bulb out, by contorting my hand without removing the pieces of metal and plastic blocking it, I had to call it quits. It was now dark, starting to rain and the back of my hand was bleeding.

After my failure, I called up Kirk. He reported that he had a ratchet with the necessary extension and that I should come over after work on Tuesday night.

Both Kirk and I worked long hours at our respective offices Tuesday. By the time I arrived at his house it was 7pm. With Laura in the kitchen making ratatouille for dinner, Kirk headed out to the garage to change one Ford Focus light bulb, a seemingly simple task.

One hour later, our patience tested, the entire headlamp casing nearly removed from its location (the manual calls for its total removal, something that was impossible for us) Kirk was able to squeeze his hand behind behind the casing. Blindly he maneuvered his hand into position and popped out the bulb. A few minutes later he was able to insert the new bulb and lock it into position.

As we (read: Kirk) reassembled the parts that we had removed around the headlamp casing, we knew that we were missing one plastic bolt. It was the bolt that required the ratchet extension and was the reason for my trip to Kirk's. It had slipped through Kirk's hand when he was removing it and was lost. (To his credit I had removed the beam of the flashlight right as Kirk was grabbing the bolt.) Flashlights in hand we searched the garage over for the absent part. With it no where in sight and Kirk's attempt to use spare metal bolts unsuccessful, we resorted to finishing the job without the plastic bolt. (It was 1 of 3 blots that secured the headlamp and seemed secure enough to drive until I could pick up a plastic bolt).

With the car almost back together, I reached down into the plastic lid of the ratchet set we had separated and stored the screws and bolts from the car. Any guesses as to what was in the case with the other fasteners?

You guessed it, the plastic bolt. Somehow the bolt fell through the car hit the garage floor and landed in with the other bolts and screws. This was somewhat unbelievable to us, but there it was, right where it belonged along with all of the other parts.

After complete reassembly and thanking Kirk, I took off for home. My mind however, could not stop thinking about that bolt.

Seemingly lost, on its own, in the expanse of the dimly light, cold, grayish garage floor, we were unaware that fate had dropped it in with its brethren.

Now, if I may get a bit philosophical; I feel that every individual is somewhat dropped onto this Earth. The planet can appear, at times, to be as cold, gray and dimly lit as that garage floor, but if you look around most of us are truly blessed. Like the bolt we are right were we belong.

Kirk and I are lucky to be surrounded by a strong, tight nit family. Because of the strong family foundation, built through the generations, we were both able to find two extraordinary woman who come from remarkable families. We both were able to cultivate life long friendships with many of our friends from college. And we both have in place the framework for passing on the importance of family to the next generation of Stelsels.

I'll finish this missive, where it began. Would anyone ever question Kirk's offer to help, even if he knew it would take as long as it did? I think we all know the answer to that. And that, unnecessary answer means more to me than anything in the world.

David

David Would Never Post This, So I'll Do It for Him :)

A Humble Thank You

Preface
I'm not what you would call an overtly religious person, if there is such a thing. I have strong beliefs. I was raised in a Christian home. But I don't go to church every week like I did growing up. My Bible has been collecting dust on my bookshelf for years. And all my prayers are said in private, and I keep them to myself. Does that make my relationship with God any less than if I did all those things? I don't think so (but that's a whole theological/philosophical discussion that is way bigger than what I want to say here). What I'm trying to get at is, what I'm about to say may surprise some of you because this message is coming from a deep place that I don't expose to many people. I'm also a private person, and writing this blog post isn't "normal" behavior for me. But I feel compelled to share this. So here it goes....

My Thank You
Today I feel incredibly, overwhelmingly humbled by the grace of God. Almost epiphany-like. I thank God nearly every day for all the good things in my life. I know I am lucky and incredibly blessed to have this life and be surrounded by so many wonderful people. I try never to forget where all these good things come from. That said, today I feel......small. The awesomeness of His power has just completely stunned me in the last week or so. I'm speechless and so very humbled by the things He's doing in my life.

Let me back up for a sec.

Compared to a lot of people, I've had a fairly easy life. I'm not ignorant to that. But that's not to say it has been or is always "easy." Nothing in life is ever easy. It's one of our earliest life lessons -- everything in life has a price, it has a consequence, and nothing is handed to us on a silver platter. And one of the hardest life lessons for me has been this: even when you try your hardest and do your best, it still may not be enough.

That, my friends, is a tough pill to swallow. Especially for someone like me who believes you should get what you deserve. That is, if you work hard enough, you should get what you want or what you set out to achieve. If I do everything I'm supposed to, I should get favorable results. Sadly, it just doesn't work that way. And I don't think I fully understood that until well into my 20s. Maybe even mid 20s. Ah, who am I kidding. I didn't fully understand that until maybe a year or so ago.

Life. Isn't. Fair.

It's a message we hear from a very young age, starting with mom and dad when we don't get what we want. And it's a message that rings true for the rest of our lives. Nothing in life is fair. And sometimes, let's be honest, it just plain sucks. I've learned to take the good with the bad. To stay positive. To look on the bright side. To take every bad experience and find a lesson to be learned or an opportunity to better myself. But even in doing these things, I get angry. I get sad. I get frustrated when things don't go my way; when the plans I've laid out for myself don't come to fruition. I'm not proud to admit that I've had many "why me?" moments with God. I've never blamed Him, but I have questioned Him. Many times. And today I feel completely embarrassed by ever having done that. Because today I realized (not for the first time, mind you, but in a "how many times do I have to hit you over the head" kind of way) that He was always listening. And He was answering my prayers, it just wasn't in an obvious "here it is on a silver platter" kind of way. I should have known better.

Now, back to the present.

The last week or so has been absolutely amazing.

1) We find out we're having a boy and, so far, he's healthy and doing great.

2) After a year on the market, we get two offers (two!) in a 24-hour period. One pans out better than we expected and we sell our house! YAY!

3)  David finds out he passed his third and final CFA exam!! He's worked so incredibly hard for 4.5 years to earn his CFA designation. Finally....FINALLY....he's done for good. I know he stuck with it for so long because he wants to do great things in his career. He's always been very motivated and goal-driven. But I think he also did it for the betterment of our family. And I am so so SO proud of him.

On top of these really big things, this week we finished our baby registries (which, I'm sorry, is just not fun. I found it stressful and overwhelming and I did not enjoy it. But we got it ALL done in two days, and I'm SUPER relieved). We also found a daycare that we LOVE. After looking at two that were just so-so, I was getting to be discouraged about returning to work and leaving our son in daycare five days a week. But today we found THE perfect daycare for him (and us!). And, lucky us, they have two (only two!) spots available for the end of March. Thank goodness I'm a planner because had we waited any longer (heck, I'm only 4.5 months!) we would've been out of luck.

Everything is just falling into place. Or should I say, I finally see how His plan is falling into place. Anyway, I just can't believe all the good things that have come our way recently -- not just daycare, and registries, and passing tests (that would be silly!). But all the experiences (more than I'd care to share here) over the last weeks, months, and years combined....all of them, good and bad, I owe 100% to the Big Guy. And I know this streak of ours won't last, but we sure are enjoying it while we can. If anything, it has definitely set off a light bulb in my head:

"Aha, He hasn't failed me. He hasn't ignored my prayers. He has always been looking out for me. And I never should have doubted that."

I'll consider it another lesson learned.

The American (Teenage) Dream

Every child dreams (figuratively, not literally). Dreams about what they'll be when they grow up, things they'll do, places they'll go. These dreams change over time and vary from extraordinary to practical. For me, they bordered on the fairly practical side. I dreamed of being a cheerleader. Never happened. I dreamed of becoming a physical therapist. Never happened. I dreamed of being rich. Hasn't happened...yet. ;)

But I also dreamed of living abroad. Check! I dreamed of marrying my college sweetheart. Check! And now, I have one more dream to check off my list: seeing New Kids on the Block in concert.

Crazy, right? Not to this girl. New Kids on the Block was probably the first music group I was ever passionate about. I had all their tapes. I had T-shirts. Like every other 11-year-old girl in America, I was IN LOVE.

Unfortunately, when New Kids were around, I was too young to ever see them in concert. The closest I ever got was a taped recording of a concert that my sister Jennifer gave me. I think one of her friends went to the show or something. Or maybe it was one of those HBO concerts. I don't know; and I didn't care! I watched that tape countless times. I knew every word to every song. I knew the dance moves by heart (although I could never pull them off myself). I was....obsessed.

Well this past Tuesday, my dream came true. New Kids were in Indy for a show with the Backstreet Boys (another boy band fantasy of mine from high school). I went with my coworker Laura and some of her friends. To say it was a blast would be a huge understatement. I was like a 13-year-old girl again -- giggling like a schoolgirl when the lights went down, screaming like a crazy person, jumping up and down when they started to sing one of my favorite songs, and dancing like a fool as if no one else was around.

It. Was. Awesome.

People think I'm silly for going to a New Kids/Backstreet concert on the verge of 30 years old. I could care less what people think. If you had the chance to live out one of your childhood dreams, even if it's 19 years late, wouldn't you? I think a person would be crazy not to! Rock on, New Kids. Rock. On.

Touchdowns for Charity

After a week filled with thunderstorms and flooding, we were relieved to see the sun show its face this weekend. And the timing couldn't have been better because Kirk and I had to cheer on Laura at her flag football game on Saturday.

Laura played in Indy's first-ever Blondes vs. Brunettes event to raise money for the Alzheimer's Association. I was thrilled when I heard she was playing and made a donation right away because this cause means a lot to me and my family because my grandfather suffered from Alzheimer's for many years.

Although, technically, I should've been pulling for Team Brunette, I was Team Laura, and therefore, Team Blonde, all the way. I have to say, I was pretty impressed with her football skills. She got an opponent's flag on her very first play and I saw a lot of hustle out there on the field. Unfortunately, the coach didn't play her nearly enough and Team Blonde lost 20-6. But we had a great time, enjoyed the weather, and supported a great organization.

While Kirk and I were at the game, David and Chase stayed home to study. I don't think Chase was too thrilled with the idea of being left at home because he pouted the whole time we were gone. Oh well. Next time, Chase, maybe you can come too.

Headed to Houston (In Spirit)

Our Dawgs are heading to Houston for the Final Four!! David and I watched Butler overtake Florida on Saturday with a big group of our college friends (about 25 of us). We went to BW3's downtown, where they had the game on every single TV! It was so awesome, and SOOOO much fun to cheer on the Dawgs with so many of our friends. Looking forward to doing it again this weekend! :)

Bulldogs for Life

The moment I stepped on Butler's campus in the fall of 1999, I knew it was where I belonged. There's a special feeling you get on Butler's campus. A feeling of community, friendship, tradition. A feeling of family.

I've always been so proud to be a Butler Bulldog for so many reasons. In addition to the outstanding education and amazing teachers that made my academic experience so fulfilling, Butler offers a little extra something that keeps us alumni coming back for more -- a place to call home.

Butler was my real home for four years. It's where I grew up, essentially, into the woman I am. It's where I made the most amazing, life-long friends. It's where I fell in love. It's where I learned some early life lessons. It's where my life changed forever. Butler was more than where I went to college. It was, and is, a lifestyle. One of character, integrity, intellect, class, and tradition.

As the Bulldogs progress to the Elite Eight in this year's NCAA tournament, I've never been more proud to be a Butler alumna. And it's not because our boys are playing so well on the court. It's because they are exemplifying to the nation what Butler's all about.

No doubt you've heard the term "the Butler Way" after last year's run to the championship game. It sounds like a marketing ploy, but I assure you it's real. The Butler Way is bigger than our basketball team and has been around longer than Matt Howard's stretched out socks. The Butler Way is about the team, about supporting each other, about working together. It's also about character, integrity, and class.

Did you know Butler's team has the best academics in the whole tournament? Check out Inside Higher Ed's take on what the NCAA tournament would look like if teams advanced based on their outcomes in the classroom.

Did you know Butler's star senior Matt Howard is frugal, shy, and has an odd sense of humor? Check out the Washington Post's post-ODU interview.

It's these kinds of stories that make me so proud. Our boys may not win another game in the tournament. They may not even make it to the tournament in the next 10 years. But it doesn't matter to us, and it certainly doesn't make us any less proud. It's not about winning, it's about playing the game. And at Butler, we're all about playing every game, on the court and in life, with dignity and class.

Am I Bulldog? Hell yeah.

Cabin Fever

I suppose it's been a quiet few weeks around the Stelsel household. When David doesn't have his head in the books, we spend our hours together in leisure mode (i.e., reading, watching movies, walking Chase). Unfortunately, it's that time of year when his study hours far exceed our hours together as a couple. But by now, as you can imagine, we're used to it. We will BOTH be thrilled when he passes his last CFA test in June!

So while David studies, I stay busy with book club, hanging out with friends, and relaxing to no end. You might find me visiting with Lindsay and baby Corwin for several hours. Or doing a Zumba workout DVD with Lindsay (which is quite a hilarious sight to behold). Or at the library checking out new books for book club. Or snuggling with Chase as we watch bad movies. :)

Random note: Last weekend I attended my first Thirty-One Gifts party (think, the Avon of purses and bags). I hadn't heard of Thirty-One before, but they have some really cute stuff. I bought a new tote bag to use as a carry-on bag when I travel, a new lunch bag, and a gift for a friend. If you ever have the opportunity to attend one of these parties, do it! The hard part was deciding what to buy because I wanted so many things!

Sweet Victory

I did it! Last night I won the championship for my Fantasy Football League (see "Are You Ready for Some Footbaaaaall"). I was the #1 seed going into playoffs, but I faced a tough opponent in the championship who completely murdered me when we played each other in the regular season. But thanks to a poor showing by the Eagles last night, I easily clinched a win!

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my dear husband for his words of wisdom throughout the season, while allowing me to make my own decisions with my team. I'd like to thank my mom and dad for their encouragement and genuine interest in the game. Thank you to my 13 coworkers opponents for drinking so much beer during our live draft that they made foolish mistakes when picking their players. And, last but not least, thank you to Drew Brees, Dwayne Bowe, Hakeem Nicks, Arian Foster, Reggie Wayne, and the San Diego defense for making this possible. You'll always hold a special place in my heart.

Now let's celebrate!!

Giving Thanks

It's been six days since Thanksgiving, and I think I've finally recovered. :)  Our 2nd annual Thanksgiving with the Stelsels, Parkers, and Kassenbrocks was a huge success! We had such a good time visiting together and feasting. I'm so glad we were able to bring all three families together again. And I'm thankful that we all get along so well as if we were one big family! :)

Things I've been especially thankful for this year:

• My amazing family. My parents who raised me right and taught me how to love. My husband who loves me for me (faults and all). My awesome friends who stand by me. My dog who makes me smile every day. My in-laws who are my second home. My sisters who gave me three beautiful nephews.
• My job. Petty, I know. But I'm thankful that I get paid to do something I love.
• Little blessings. If there's one thing I've learned this year it's to cherish all the happy moments in life, big and small. Too often I've been known to dwell on the not-so-happy moments, even the minor daily upsets. This year I've learned to take every day in stride and enjoy all the good things.

Time for family pictures! The Kassenbrocks.

The Stelsels.

The Parkers.

And here we are: one big, happy family! :)

What a feast! And this isn't even all of it!

Poor Chase waits patiently under the table while we eat. I did catch him trying to sniff out some crumbs in Kirk's lap. :)

This is what happens when you sit at the end of the table.

Ahhhh.... that's better!

And this is what happens when the beer starts flowing at noon.

Looks like David enjoyed his turkey leg.

We celebrated Thanksgiving at Kirk and Laura's again this year. Then on Friday we had a fish fry at our house. You heard right. It was 30 degrees outside, but we had a good 'ol Parker style fish fry. Dad cooked up some of his fish he caught this year, Mom and I made hushpuppies, and we chowed down on the rest of the Thanksgiving leftovers. Lindsay, Russell, and Corwin joined us for the fish fry, too, so we had quite a house full!

We all had a great time all weekend, but no one more than Chase. Chase couldn't get enough of all the attention. I think he had snuggle time with just about everyone.

Hope your Thanksgivings were just as great! Happy holidays!